Author: Michael

What’s this all about? In 2013, someone at Dreamworks decided that we needed another CGI-animated kids’ movie with a star studded cast of adult actors providing the voices. So, they rounded up Nick Cage, Emma Stone, Cloris Leachman, “Trish” from The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and “Fart” from “The Office,” and pumped out The Croods. I still…

What’s this all about? After a string of screamy action/thrillers and ill-advised devil-themed nonsense, Nick returned to the world of “serious” films, in 2013’s The Frozen Ground. A procedural retelling of the real life crimes and apprehension of Alaskan serial killer Robert Hansen, the film stays grounded in reality, creating a dark vision of Alaska’s…

What’s this all about? In 2012’s Stolen, a man with a mysterious past which has given him a peculiar set of skills learns that his daughter has been kidnapped, and only he can save her. He goes on a wild adventure, foiling the intricate plans of his daughter’s captors, despite law enforcement and his friends…

What’s this all about? OK, the movie is actually called, Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance, but I couldn’t resist the joke. If you’ve been reading these reviews, you’ll remember 2007’s Ghost Rider, in which the titular spirit cyclist had to fight and defeat the devil’s son, who was trying to capture a thousand souls, for…

What’s this all about? Criminals invade the giant mansion of a rich, unscrupulous douchebag, where they hold the d-bag and his family hostage. There’s a great deal of screaming, shouting, the waving of guns, and long, pointless explanations of character motivations. I know that I often complain that characters lack motivation, but I also don’t…

What’s this all about? When a mild-mannered high school teacher’s wife is brutally assaulted and raped, he is lured into a web of murder, when a stranger approaches, and offers to have the wife’s assailant killed. In exchange, the teacher is expected to undertake assignments for the shadowy vigilante organization, ultimately culminating in murder. Everything…

What’s this all about? When a cult leader, who may or may not have super powers, decides to sacrifice the baby that he fathered with a woman who bit him on the penis to the devil, in an attempt to “bring hell to Earth,” that baby’s grandpa escapes from hell and violently kills a bunch…

What’s this all about? A pair of knights who have abandoned The Crusades after realizing that many of those whom they are slaying are innocents, are tasked with delivering a witch, believed to be the source of The Black Plague, to a monastery for trial and presumed execution. Along the way, they face tribulations of…

What’s this all about? In 2010, high on the success of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise, Disney looked around and said, “what other crappy intellectual properties do we own that we can milk dry?” They came up with The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, a movie apparently based on a single scene from the forgettable Fantasia, in…

What’s this all about? Kick-Ass is the story of an average, everyday teenager who decides to become a costumed super hero like in all of the comic books. It tries to paint a more-or-less realistic picture of how this could turn out in the real world through comedic and action scenes. The film paints an…