Outcast (2014)

What’s this all about?

Tired of the horrors of war, Anakin Skywalker and his mentor travel to a distant land, where they fall into a political plot that requires them to escort an incognito princess through a land swarming with enemies and assassins.

No, it’s not one of those Star Wars prequels. It’s 2014’s Outcast, in which Hayden Christensen and Nicolas Cage play crusader knights. For reasons too stupid to go into here, they wind up in feudal China during a period of succession, in which the dead emperor’s oldest son attempts to kill his younger brother to secure ascendancy to the throne.

This film was produced with funds from the Chinese government, and brother, does it ever show.

Who is Nick in this one?

Nick plays “Gillain,” a crusader knight sworn, for reasons we don’t understand, to defend his young comrade, Jacob. When Nick arrives in ancient China, he becomes a notorious outlaw known as “The White Ghost,” marries a Chinese woman, and builds a hideout in the mountains, until he gets drawn into action again by Anakin. I mean “Jacob”.

Who else is in this one?

Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker) plays “Jacob,” the film’s main character. He’s a brooding, opium-addicted loser who, for some reason, is way better at fighting than every person in China (except Nick).

No one else who you’ve ever heard of is in this film. The entire remaining cast is Chinese. Literally the first character credited on IMDB after Nick and Anakin is “Crusader A”.

Did you see that?

Throughout the film, everyone speaks English. Anakin fakes a Scottish accent that comes and goes. Nick tries for something approximating an English accent. Everyone else (except one Indian lady) has a heavy Chinese accent. They all communicate without issue. 

What language are the characters meant to be speaking? I can understand why everything is presented in English, but are we to think the vast majority of characters are speaking Chinese (as they surely would have been) and Nick and Anakin are speaking heavily-accented Chinese (which might make sense)? If so, why does everyone else also have heavy accents?

The entire film is about people from different cultures finding different ways to kill each other, but not a single cultural conflict, including vastly different languages, is ever shown. -Michael

What were Nick’s best parts?

In one of the larger fight scenes, Nick’s mute Chinese wife is killed in front of him. We have never been told this character’s name, and the only things that we know about her are that she’s married to Nick, and that she “used to sing” before her tongue was cut out by imperial soldiers.

Shockingly, when she’s killed, Nick immediately runs to her side, and gives a very reasonable performance of a man grieving the sudden and unexpected death of his beloved life partner. It’s one of the very few scenes with weight in the film. -Michael

What were Nick’s worst parts?

When Anakin, the young prince, and the princess are saved by Nick and taken to his camp, there is a brief scene in which Nick “negotiates” with the princess to determine who is really in charge. It looked like a third string high school drama kid doing a monologue. He jumps around and waves his arms while shouting his lines like he’s in a race to the bottom of the script. -Michael

How was the movie?

This movie was an OK fantasy action film. The acting is sub par, but that’s not why anyone is here. The plot is thinner than the gravy on a Jennie-O turkey loaf, but you aren’t here for that either. The sword fights are pretty good. The scenery and costumes are excellent. You could kill 90 minutes in worse ways.

That said, I’ve often read that Hayden Christensen’s much maligned performances in Star Wars were the fault of the director, and that the actor is capable of deep, nuanced performance.

In Outcast he gives a performance equal to that of an Arnold Schwarzenegger standup poster at the back of a video store. He’s bland. He’s wooden. He’s terrible. Hayden deserves all of the hate he gets for this one. -Michael 

Yeah, but did you like it?

It was OK. -Michael

Where can I watch it?

You can rent it on Amazon Prime. Proceeds presumably go to the Chinese communist party.


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