What’s this all about?
Fire Birds is the story of how the United States Army won the war on drugs through the direct application of attack helicopters. It features no subplots, no character development, and a villain who literally appears in two scenes, and says zero words.
Who is Nick in this one?
Nick plays “Jack Preston”. I watched this movie last night, and if you had given me one million dollars to do so, I could not have told you his name without consulting IMDB. Jack has two interests; blowing shit up with a helicopter, and having sex with Sean Young. I think we can all relate to one of those. Jack’s motivation is his desire to blow shit up with his helicopter, and his mild anger at an unnamed bad guy, who blew shit up with his helicopter better than Jack. Jack’s character flaw is “left eye dominance”.
Who else is in this one?
Tommy Lee Jones appears as “Brad Little,” a grumpy, salty Army instructor with a heart of gold. He has a wife and kids, but they don’t seem to matter.
Sean Young is “Billie Lee Guthrie,” the object of Nick’s forced affection. We learn that Billie Lee and Jack have had some relationship in the past. It is never explained. She doesn’t want to have sex with Nick. The movie solves this plot problem by having the character randomly change her mind, and have sex with Nick.
The Mom from The Goonies plays Tommy Lee Jones’ wife. I have no idea why her character appears in this film.
This guy plays “black Army official”, as he does in every military movie.
Rounding out the cast, this guy plays “white Army official.”
Did you see that?
In one scene, a pair of Saab Drakens, super-sonic, Swedish jet fighters, which are apparently being operated by South American drug cartels, are destroyed. One is destroyed by Nick Cage’s AH-64 Apache attack helicopter. If this were to happen in real life, it would be only the second ever air-to-air kill of a fixed-wing aircraft by a helicopter. To say that it is improbable that an anti-tank missile could shoot down a fighter/interceptor capable of Mach 2 speeds would be like saying that it is unlikely that my 16 pound Schnauzer mix could catch and kill a brown bear.
The second Draken, just for the record, gets shot down by a shoulder fired missile that Sean Young found in the trunk of Tommy Lee Jones’ downed Apache. This is just nonsense.
Given that this movie basically serves as an advertisement for the U.S. Army’s then-new AH-63 Apache, the basic inaccuracies are completely unacceptable. -Michael
I’m afraid all the above mentioned inaccuracies were completely lost on me. Things flew, things exploded, the special effects were not horrible for the day, but also not great. I tended to focus a little more on the relationship Jack had with Sean Young. For some reason, he was very open and forward with his desire to get back with her. Honestly, I don’t quite get the appeal, I don’t think she’s all that attractive, but hey, he’s no Tom Cruise either. I make the Tom Cruise reference as this entire movie is a more poorly done version of Top Gun. Anyways, Nick is relentlessly chasing Sean the entire movie, which let’s face it, a girl does like to be pursued. Although Nick is a bit of an egotistical ass most of the time, I did particularly enjoy how Sean repeatedly put him in his place about it. Clearly that is why they broke up the first time. There was one scene where she insisted on driving yet again and bested him in some silly little competition. This led Nick to ask her if she ever wanted him to be the one to be right. She just looked at him and without hesitation went, “No.” LOL. It’s a low-brow chuckle, but I enjoyed it a lot. -Sarah
What were Nick’s best parts?
This is tough, as Nick plays this entire role as if he’s getting paid by the word, and the faster he can spit them out, the faster he gets paid.
His best scene, in my opinion, is the one in which he has been outfitted with a contraption made of a periscope and apair of ladies’ underwear, which he uses to navigate while driving. This somehow cures the curse of “left eye dominance” which is keeping his character from blowing up shit in his beloved helicopter.
In the scene, Nick looks like he’s genuinely having fun, which works well for the obvious ridiculousness of the scene. -Michael
I think it was the first time he went up in the helicopter with Tommy Lee Jones. He truly looked like he was enjoying himself and having fun. I believed he was flying a helicopter and having the time of his life even though it was clearly a blue screen. It was a lower budget 90’s film after all. -Sarah
What were Nick’s worst parts?
Throughout this movie, Nick shouts and overacts and chews on the scenery. His worst scene, though, is at Tommy Lee Jones birthday party. TLJ is surprised by a large cadre of people, and a pretty substantial party, complete with dancing and a band breaks out.
Nick spends the entirety of this scene standing, with a beer in his hand, looking disinterested. It’s honestly like he didn’t realize the camera was rolling. The scene has no reason to exist, failing to move the plot or show us anything about the characters. You’d think it would be hard to do a bad job just standing there, but Nick pulls it off. -Michael
Nick’s worst scene was towards the beginning of the movie when he was testifying to some panel of top ranking governmental-military types. I’m sure he intends to come off very serious, but his face and tone are so deadpan that he really expresses no emotion whatsoever. It just didn’t work for me. -Sarah
How was the movie?
I’ve seen every Iron Eagle movie. I enjoyed them. I like military action movies. This movie is terrible.
The plot is non-existent. It’s full of obnoxious rah-rah jingoism. Cage’s character basically sexually assaults Sean Young’s character until they become lovers, and in the end, The U.S. Army blows up the war on drugs. I feel like an 8-year-old wrote this script, and someone in recruiting at the Pentagon financed it.
The AH-64 Apache was (and is) an amazing piece of military technology. A human story built around them could be really fun. This movie isn’t that. -Michael
The movie wasn’t great, but it wasn’t that bad. I basically enjoyed it while I was watching it, although it quickly fades from memory as it wasn’t all that notable in any way. It had some action, it had some female relationship type of stuff, it would have been an okay date movie back in the 90’s for some teenagers. It would have gotten you out of the house for an evening and was a way to spend time. -Sarah
Yeah, but did you like it?
This movie is full of kickass helicopters, explosions, and a couple of awesome Swedish jet fighters. Somehow, I still hated it. -Michael
It was okay. -Sarah
Where can I watch it?
You can rent it on Amazon Prime.
Leave a Reply