The Best of Times (1981)

What’s this all about?

The Best of Times is Nicolas Cage’s (credited as Nicolas Coppola) first IMDB credit. It’s listed as a 1981 “TV Movie”. In reality, it’s a 45 minute pilot to a TV show that never happened. It was apparently envisioned as a “Laugh-In” for the ‘80s, and featured an all-singing, all-dancing cast. It covered all of the important teenage topics of the day; How to get work experience when you can’t get a job, violent video games, foreign military buildup in El Salvador, PTSD, the high cost of denim, and how horny Crispin Glover gets when he tries on pants.

Who is Nick in this one?

Nicolas Cage (nee Coppola) is creatively cast as “Nicholas” (note the clever alternate spelling), a manic, workout obsessed meat heat, who is working out in cutoff jeans in almost every scene. 

Who else is in this one?

A young Crispin Glover (as well as, allegedly, Crispin Glover’s mom) appears alongside Nicholas in this, cast as “Crispin”. I’m starting to see why this show didn’t work. He plays a fourth wall-breaking George McFly-type with big hair and a lust for the Talking Heads.

Veteran comic/star of “The Jerk”, Jackie Mason is in this, too. He plays Jackie Mason.

Did you see that?

Among several alleged musical numbers, I found the car wash themed rendition of Dolly Parton’s “Nine to Five” to be the most surreal. For some reason, “Kevin” (the girl crazy nerd) roller skates through a car wash while playing the fiddle. “Nicholas” drives a Nissan sports car into the car wash towing mechanism, then screams about how he “didn’t do that” over and over. Perhaps he was channeling a yet-to-come Urkel. Anyway, I wasn’t sure if it was meant to be funny, or if they actually expected people to watch this for the music. -Michael

The entire show was a bit surreal. It was incredibly bad. At times the level of badness was entertaining, but not enough to make it worth watching. – Sarah

What were Nick’s best parts?

The scene in which “Nicholas” shouts about how his favorite part of the movie “Rocky” was the scene in which the titular hero punches a side of beef was the highlight, for me. It had shades of his “Wicker Man” performance to come, while also being patently absurd on its face. This is why we watch Nicolas Cage movies. For the shouting and the absurdity. -Michael

My favorite Nic scene was when he was educating his friend on how to properly pick women up. – Sarah

What were Nick’s worst parts?

The low point for me was definitely the musical montage in which all of the kids terrorize Jackie Mason by performing some sort of impromptu musical in his store. Everyone makes noise using objects around the store, making a rhythmic “song”, like Stomp, or whatever that was called. One guy drums on paint cans. Another pushes beeping phone buttons. A third uses a price tag gun (remember those) to keep the beat. 

“Nicholas” waves a pine tree air freshener back and forth.

Did he not understand what his friends were doing? Was he confused about how sound works? Nobody on the set said, “hey, that clearly doesn’t make noise. Do literally anything else,” apparently. 

A close second was the monologue “Nicholas” delivered about his Dad’s PTSD from having served in the Korean War, and his own fears about being drafted and sent to fight in the pending war in El Salvador. That was probably more poignant in 1981. It was also more poignant before “Nicholas” opined that he like to use the prospect of being sent to war to get into the ladies’ pants. -Michael

The car wash bit was my least favorite. – Sarah

How was the movie?

I’m really not sure who this show was supposed to be for. It contained topics like the fear of being drafted and sent to war, alongside things like a bit about how kids these days listen to weird music. If this was for little kids, I don’t think they’d understand much of it. If it was for teens, I think they’d find it insulting and dumb. I can’t believe they aired this in prime time. -Michael

Yeah, but did you like it?

Honestly, this crap makes “Saved By The Bell” look like “To Kill A Mockingbird”. It borders on so-bad-it’s-good, but never fully gets there. -Michael

Couldn’t agree more. – Sarah

Where can I watch it?

You can find it at The Internet Archive.