What’s this all about?
Deadfall is the story of a family of conmen, who pull off some of the most basic cons you’ve ever seen, and manage to (sometimes accidentally) kill each other.
Joe (Michael Biehn) works a con with his father (James Coburn) and his father’s confederates, in which they trick a drug buyer into thinking that the transaction is a police sting, causing the buyer to flee without his money or his drugs. During this scam, Joe accidentally shoots and kills his father, whose dying words send him on a quest to find his father’s estranged brother (also Coburn) and to steal “the cake.”
Joe learns that his father’s previously unknown-to-him-brother is his father’s twin, and that he also runs a gang of low quality conmen, including Mickey Dolenz from The Monkees (Mickey Dolenz), and Link from the Mod Squad (Clarence Williams III).
While working for his uncle, Joe executes a con against a pool-playing weirdo (Charlie Sheen), in which Joe loses at pool, and has to give up a $25k watch. He also meets a weirdo with a robotic pair of scissors for an arm (Angus Scrimm) who he ultimately scams with some (maybe) fake diamonds, before again getting a bunch of people accidentally shot.
Who is Nick in this one?
Nick plays “Eddie,” a lieutenant of Joe’s Uncle. He wears an awful, obvious wig throughout (although it does get removed in his final scene), and screams almost all of his lines. He dresses like a 70’s pimp (the film is not set in the 70’s) and seems to be awful at whatever his job is. It’s really unclear whether Joe’s Uncle is running numbers, making book, or running a protection racket, but whatever he’s doing, Nick seems to suck at it.
Who else is in this one?
Michael Biehn plays the main character, Joe. You remember him as that guy who came from the future to impregnate Linda Hamilton in The Terminator. He’s probably the best actor in this, and he isn’t good. Apparently, Val Kilmer was originally contracted for this role but he backed out, presumably because the cocaine wore off (that’s a joke, Val. Don’t sue me!)
James Coburn plays a double role as Joe’s father, “Mike” and Joe’s Uncle, “Lou.” I love James Coburn, but he really phones it in. Most of his scenes have him seated, or standing in a single position without moving, which makes me wonder if the veteran actor was in poor physical shape.
Charlie Sheen plays a pool player who has his own carom billiards table and butler at a public pool hall. He has a terrible mustache, and wears a red velvet jacket. I think we’re supposed to think he’s some sort of big shot, but it really feels like he’s playing a character from Hot Shots.
Angus Scrimm (you remember him as “The Tall Man” from the Phantasm movies) plays a jewel obsessed crime boss (L.A. must have a lot of crime bosses) with a robotic scissor for his right hand. When this character is introduced, he claims to be able to lop off human hands with his prosthetic appendage. He literally never uses it for anything. There should be a rule about Chekov’s Prosthetic Scissor Hand. No other characters in this movie are Austin Powers characters, so I don’t know what he’s doing here.
Peter Fonda is allegedly in this movie. I just watched the film last night, and have literally no recollection of Fonda, or his character “Pete.” I asked Sarah if she remembered him, and she also did not. I think he was probably just there for the cocaine.
Sarah Trigger plays the love interest, “Diane.” She went on to be featured in PCU, another deservedly-forgotten mess, a year later. I want to note that she’s prominently featured in the most awkward, uncomfortable sex scene that I have ever seen. I honestly don’t know if the intent was to create a scene in which a woman has awkward sex that she isn’t enjoying with Michael Biehn, or if it just turned out that way. Apparently, when the original prints for this film were made, the lab inadvertently included the sex scene twice, and nobody in the production cared enough to check the prints, so they went to theaters that way. The idea of sitting though that scene, in a public place, twice, makes me cringe.
I think it’s worth noting that this film was written and directed by Christopher Coppola, who is Nicolas Cage’s brother. He allegedly got paid nothing for his work on this film. He was overpaid.
Also worthy of note, Renee Esteves plays a strip club owner’s side chick. The role had no lines, but she’s Charlie Sheen’s sister, so that’s something.
Did you see that?
The first thing that I saw when watching this movie was the twist ending. I won’t spoil it, in case you’re the kind of moron who watched Deadfall (I am), but if you don’t see the “big twist” in the end coming by the end of the first act, maybe have your pulse checked.
This movie feels like Christopher Coppola said, “I’m going to write one of those tight crime scripts, where everybody is smooth, and cool, and you don’t know who’s really conning who until the very end, like The Maltese Falcon or Jackie Brown!”
Instead, he did a bunch of coke and Googled “cool scams.”
For a more traditional Did you see that?, I’ll point out the split-second scene in which Joe sees his uncle for the first time. The screen flashes from Joe’s view of James Coburn as “Lou” to James Coburn from a previous scene, as “Mike. I assume that was put in just to make sure that we audience members remembered that James Coburn was playing a different guy five minutes ago.
Also, “Lou,” some sort of organized criminal, has his name on the door to his office. I assume Al Capone also had a plaque on his door that said “Al Capone, Proprietor.” That’s what makes the crime organized.
Sorry, that’s 3 Did you see that? moments, and I didn’t even mention Charlie Sheen’s mustache. -Michael
I had a real WTF moment in Nick’s final scene. He’s in a fight and right after his wig gets ripped off, he is pushing our hero backwards into a huge deep fryer. Here is this guy pushed into a fryer, being bent backwards, and as the back of his head slowly approaches the literal vat of bubbling hot oil, he reaches a hand behind Nick’s head and somehow (magically) pulls Nick’s face past his head into the vat of oil while slipping around to suddenly be behind Nick and shoving him in. It’s the most unrealistic thing I’ve ever seen in a movie. It’s like Nick was helping him out of some sudden desire to deep fry his face. -Sarah
What were Nick’s best parts?
This is genuinely tough. I talk a lot of trash about Nicolas Cage’s acting in these articles, but I generally enjoy his work, and he’s been in some absolutely brilliant movies. This movie is lukewarm garbage, and Nick is absolutely the worst part of it.
Since I’m required by my own rules to pick a “best” scene, I’ll go with his very first scene. Joe arrives in LA, and finds the food court where his uncle is the crime boss. He asks a random busboy to tell his uncle that he’s there, and wants to see him. As he waits, he’s approached by Nick, who presents him with a deck of cards, and asks him to cut the deck, saying that if Joe draws a high card, Nick will tell Joe who he (Nick) is, and if he draws a low card he’ll tell him who “you” (Joe) is. It’s a marginally clever line that hints at a clever character. Unfortunately, he transforms into a screaming idiot in the very next scene. -Michael
Nick literally had no good scenes. So I’m going to go with the one where he got his face fried off. The melting head that came out of the fryer was decently gross. -Sarah
What were Nick’s worst parts?
There’s an embarrassment of riches here, as every scene Cage is in is terrible. He screams like a lunatic, regardless of the context of the scene, says bizarre things, seemingly at random, puts on unnecessary fake accents, and generally storms through the scenery.
The worst, in my opinion, is the scene in which Nick enjoys some entertainment at a strip club that he and Joe shook down the night before.
The scene starts with Nick waving his arms like an orchestra conductor while murmuring gibberish at a stripper, until he is confronted by the club owner, who reveals that Nick was conned by Joe. This results in Nick yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs, grabbing a drink off of a nearby table and hurling into the face of a random patron, and then just beating up a guy who happened to walk in, all while literally screaming nonsense.
Nicolas Cage can act. In this movie, he chooses not to. Whether this was at the direction of his brother, the director, or to spite the director, his brother, one can only speculate. I just know that I’d be pissed if I got my famous actor brother to be in the movie I wrote (and am directing) and he gave the worst performance of his career (so far). -Michael
Michael is absolutely right. This is our first movie where Nick phoned it in. For me the very worst scene was the one where he was not only yelling, but also crying. He was just flailing around on a bed having a tantrum that would embarrass a two-year-old.
Another bad one was this scene where he did a Dennis Leary impression to James Coburn. It reminded me so much of Leary, I had to verify that this movie came out the same year as No Cure for Cancer. -Sarah
How was the movie?
This movie is trash. The plot is convoluted without being interesting. Several competent actors deliver bizarre performances, and it goes from a gritty crime drama to a Get Smart-style parody in act two. The McGuffin (the “cake” that Joe’s uncle stole from his father) turns out to be both irrelevant and nonsensical. Lou literally tries to give it to Joe, who is so uninterested that he says something like “why don’t you hang onto it for me,” and it’s never mentioned again. -Michael
This is a truly bad movie and not in a good way. -Sarah
Yeah, but did you like it?
This movie is so bad that it almost made me angry. It is very, very close to “so bad it’s good,” but I don’t think it quite crosses that threshold. It might be pretty funny on a rewatch, but I don’t think I can bear to watch that sex scene again. -Michael
No. -Sarah
Where can I watch it?
You can stream it for free on Tubi, or The Roku Channel. The Roku Channel also has Jackie Brown for free. It’s your two hours. Make good decisions.
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