Valley Girl (1983)

What’s this all about?

Valley Girl Is a coming-of-age fish-out-of-water teen comedy romance about Julie, a preppy girl from “the valley” who dresses like a 60-year-old librarian and must choose between two suitors. One is a giant douchebag who wears popped collar polo shirts and treats everyone like shit. The other is Nicolas Cage, who is, I don’t know, a punk or something. He dresses like Brian Setzer and everybody hates him because of it. We learn valuable lessons about judging people based on their appearances, and class struggle, and how old hippies are cooler than you think.

Who is Nick in this one?

Nick plays “Randy.” I’m not sure if Randy is supposed to be poor, or a tough guy, or what, but the other people in the movie sure seem to hate him.

Who else is in this one?

Dottie, Pee-Wee’s girlfriend from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure is in this as one of Julie’s friends. She has a nude scene. It feels all kinds of wrong.

Les Nessman from WKRP is in one scene as a frustrated driving instructor. As usual, he kills it.

Did you see that? (Michael/Sarah)

80’s pop/New Wave singer Josie Cotton performs her single Johnny Are You Queer at the Junior Prom. For some reason, she’s in disguise as Elizabeth Taylor. I’m not sure if that was a big deal at the time of the movie’s release, but it was kind of cool to see. -Michael

What were Nick’s best parts? (Michael/Sarah)

This is probably stretching the definition of the segment, but the movie features a montage of Randy and Julie dating in the early stages of their relationship. It does a particularly good job of conveying that they are developing a “real” relationship in a short period of time. -Michael

What were Nick’s worst parts? (Michael/Sarah)

There were a couple of scenes that featured Nicolas’ now trademark calm talking followed by manic screaming. In some of those scenes, it works, like when Julie breaks up with Randy.

It definitely does not work, though, in the scene where Randy jumps out of his friend’s car, and yells “No one is gonna tell me who I can score with!” while angrily (but carefully kicking his friend’s car. It’s just shouted nonsense, and it makes Randy look just as big of a douchebag as his douchebag rival, Tommy.


There are several scenes like this in the movie, which might be jokes, but I just can’t tell. -Michael

How was the movie? (Michael/Sarah)

This isn’t necessarily a bad movie. It isn’t a good one either, though. I’m not sure how much of that is just the passage of time and the subject matter, and how much is that it just isn’t very good. This movie is billed as a Romantic Comedy. I really struggled with the comedy, though.

There are a lot of things that seem like they might be jokes or bits, but I can’t tell. For example, there’s a whole subplot with Skip, who is being seduced by the mother of Suzi, one of Julie’s friends. This takes up several scenes, but never goes anywhere, culminating in a scene in which Skip is caught in bed with Suzi by the Mom, who screams. None of this is ever mentioned again. I don’t even know why it’s in the movie.

Similarly, the finale, in which Nick sneaks into Julie’s prom and wins her away from Tommy is either nonsense, or a joke that I’m not getting. Randy just kicks the guy in the nuts, and suddenly Julie wants to be with him again, and they run off together, chased by like a hundred guys, for some reason.

When Les Nessman jumps out of the Drivers’ Ed car because Julie is such a vapid, pain in the ass, that’s a joke. And it’s funny. So clearly some of this is meant to be funny.

It’s like the movie doesn’t know if it’s Pretty in Pink or American Pie. -Michael

Yeah, but did you like it? (Michael/Sarah)

I didn’t hate it, but I wouldn’t watch it again, and will probably have forgotten most of it by next Wednesday. Nick was fine in it. -Michael

Where can I watch it?

It’s free on Tubi.


Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *